Rum Sodomy and the Lash

sailing around the world on our yacht, Ruby Rose

Tag: rum sodomy and the lash

10 Questions with Ruby Rose

There’s an awesome blog called Newly Salted who interview cruisers that have been underway for less than 2 years. Here’s our responses to “10 questions with Ruby Rose” about liveabord cruising. I hope this information might be useful or interesting to our readers and it’s a great way to round up our impressions of a year of cruising on Ruby Rose!

Me and Nick smiling into the camera- the sun is shining and the skies are blue!

This selfie was taken as we left Conyer almost one year ago- wow, Nick’s hair was so short!

  • What (if anything) do you wish someone had told you before you started cruising?
    Well, people did tell us but we didn’t listen- slow down! We looked at a chart and said, “Oh yeah, we can definitely cover that distance in a season, no problem!” But the reality is that after 6 months, we started to feel tired, frustrated and increasingly irritable with our schedule because we had set ourselves a timetable that was unrealistic. Well, perhaps it was realistic, but certainly not enjoyable. I wish I’d listened to people who told us that we shouldn’t rush, but it’s the type of thing you can only learn yourself!
  • As you started cruising, what transitions did you find the most difficult?
    We had undertaken two ‘shakedown’ cruises on Ruby Rose to France the previous two summers before our actual departure. Both sailing trips were about a month long, and although we were in holiday mode, it gave us a real insight into what living onboard would be like when we did it for real. We walso lived onboard for about 6 months before we actually left the UK, so the transition was a slow one and we didn’t find it difficult at all. The main luxuries we miss are regular hot water, air-conditioning and a front loading fridge!
  • What do you find the most exciting about your cruising life?
    Do I have to pick just one!? We love discovering and exploring new places, people and countries, and I suppose that’s the most exciting aspect of cruising. We also find the freedom we have exhilarating- to think we could simply point our bow in any direction and go wherever we like! We also love meeting new people and making new friends- that is one of the best things about cruising.
  • What do you dislike about cruising that surprised you?
    I asked Nick this question and he replied, “Sailing!” It’s true. We thought we’d have ‘champagne’ sailing as soon as we reached the tropics- we couldn’t have been more wrong! Sailing in the Caribbean isn’t always pleasant. In fact, it’s often quite unpleasant. We’ve whinged about this to plenty of people who have just looked at us like we’re a couple of aliens- or, more accurately, like we not ‘real’ sailors.  But we just don’t like 2 metre swell on the beam and beating into 20 knots- sorry! Yes, we’ve had some very quick sails between the islands. No, we haven’t enjoyed the majority of them.
  • Is there something you wish you had bought or installed before starting out?
    We had planned to only use renewable energy- wind generator and solar panels- but we also really love Nespresso coffee and watching DVD’s at night which takes up more power than our renewables produce. We weren’t realistic about what our energy requirements were, and we also didn’t want the expense of a generator set or a suitcase generator. Plus, we wanted to be green! But after a year onboard, we’ve decided to go ahead and buy a generator so that we never have to spend a windless, cloudy day without the convenience of our electronic devices ever again…
    We also wish we had bought a watermaker with a much higher output (ours produces 12 litres/hour)- at the moment we have to run it for several hours to top-up the tanks, and I’ve already mentioned our issues with power at anchor!
    One last thing. We bought a soft-bottomed dinghy with a 3hp outboard for this cruise, but we wish we had a RIB and a more powerful outboard. We’ll be upgrading as soon as we can!
  • Tell me your favourite thing about your boat.
    We adore our Southerly 38, Ruby Rose . Our favourite features are the big cockpit, the big aft cabin and the big saloon. Sensing a theme? Yes, she had a huge amount of living space for the length and other sailors who come onboard are always surprised at how spacious our boat is. We also love her lifting keel, as going aground is one less thing we need to worry about (we hope!) and it means we can get into shallow anchorages. We think our boat is beautiful, comfortable to live on and she is very seaworthy.
  • Tell me your least favourite thing about your boat.
    All that living space comes at a cost- we have very little storage space on Ruby Rose  or room for plant machinery. We’d love a bigger fuel tank, a bigger water tank, and a gen set. We also heartily dislike our top-loading fridge- any time we want something from the baskets down the bottom we have to empty the contents of the fridge completely in order to get to it! Needless to say, we try not to use the baskets if we can help it.
  • What are your plans now? If they do not include cruising, tell us why. 
    We will definitely continue cruising! We’re storing Ruby Rose  in Antigua for hurricane season which has the double benefit of reducing the risk of damage if a hurricane does come through (plus we’re insured if it’s on the hard and tied down) and gives us 6 months to visit our families, travel and enjoy the conveniences of being a ‘land lubber’ for a time. We’re already looking forward to next season where we will (probably) continue north and visit the BVI, Bahamas and then cruise the East Coast of the USA. After that, who knows- but we have no desire to go back to bricks and mortar permanently. If we can continue to fly home periodically, we will likely carry on cruising for many years to come.
  • Is there anywhere you sailed to that was a disappointment? 
    The Tobago Cays! I thought it would be like paradise- but it was so disappointing! It was like a carpark: there were so many boats at anchor, it was like a forest of masts all around us! The boat boys hassled us and yes, we saw turtles which was awesome, but we’ve snorkelled with turtles many times since. The anchorage was also completely open to the wind which was blowing upwards of 20 knots while we were there, so it was generally not particularly pleasant. We left after one night.
  • What are your impressions of the cruising community? 
    One of the best things about cruising on Ruby Rose is meeting such an interesting mix of people. We have met young couples who barely have enough money to eat- but are living their dream anyway!- and retirees who have recently left very lucrative jobs, have bought the multi-million dollar yacht, and expect everyone they come across to drop to their knees in bowing acquiescence. We’ve met families who are cruising with their children and homeschooling, cruisers who have been living in the Caribbean for 15 years, couples on a 6 month sabbatical, and everyone in between. Even though there’s a minority of the sailing community we try and avoid like the plague, in the most part everyone is friendly, interesting, and sociable. Generally sailors are extremely generous with their time and experience, and if you need help or a spare part or another set of hands, there’s always someone nearby willing to help.


We Escaped!

Antigua classics, and much more….

Okay, so you know how in my last post I said how happy we are in the marina and how we’re just going to stay put for the moment? Well, that’s all very well and good, but then this weird weather system came through which basically meant there was absolutely no wind whatsoever- not even a little bit- and as a result life onboard in the marina became absolutely unbearable. It was muggy, still, hot and generally uncomfortable. We tried to go for a swim down the beach to cool down, and it was like wading into a warm bath. We decided it was time to go and spend a few nights at anchor.

Tina and Mark on Magic and Holly and Simon on Tudor Rose were already in Falmouth Harbour as it was the beginning of Antigua Classic Week so it didn’t take a huge amount of head scratching to decide where to go. We dropped our mooring lines after 5 weeks in the marina and motor-sailed down to Falmouth Harbour in wonderfully calm seas with a bright blue sky above us. It was a great feeling getting back on the water and not being bashed around by inter-island Atlantic swell.

Once tied up in Falmouth, Tina and Mark descended on us almost immediately with our itinerary for, like, the entire week. We’d only planned to stay one night, perhaps two, but we ended up hanging around until our food ran out a week later. There was an open mic night that evening at the yacht club, put on for Classics, and so Tina signed her and Nick up to do a couple of songs.

Nick and Tina at open mic night- before it all went wrong!

Nick and Tina at open mic night- before it all went wrong!

It was a great atmosphere and there was even a stage- a real stage!- for the performers. However, it was clear from the very first performance that there was going to be some sound issues. The first group to go on stage was a Cornish family who played some English folk music. They were fantastic, but only those who literally went right up to the stage could hear them! The sound was dodgy all evening, and although Nick and Tina’s first number was actually fine, by the time they got up on stage for the second time, you couldn’t hear Nick on guitar or another guy who was playing the bass at all. The atmosphere had gone from merry and festive to irate and disgruntled as the performers struggled to be heard, and the sound technician was possibly the most miserable and surly man I have ever met. He made no attempt whatsoever to adjust the sound levels and during Nick and Tina’s second performance you could actually hear over the speakers another couple of musicians out the back warming up!

The organisers tried to address these issues with the sound guy, but he was having none of it and basically refused to cooperate. Nick and Tina tried asking him to adjust the sound, but he just shrugged irritably and did nothing. Eventually, Nick gave up and left the stage and I, several rums down by this stage, may or may not have accosted this sound guy- about 3 times my size by the way- and given him my best “You should be ashamed of yourself” speech accompanied by some high quality finger wagging. He responded defensively, and then sat back down in his chair which he promptly fell off of. There’s no coming back from that in an argument, and I felt that I’d made my point, so I summed up my position by saying, “You’re just a massive asshole, mate” (I get very Australian when I’m angry) and, with a flick of my hair, exited stage left to a round of applause (okay, I may have made that last bit up).

Mark stared at me open-mouthed, Tina clapped me on the shoulder and Nick just rolled his eyes and was like, “You see what I have to put up with?” Poor Nick. At least he never falls off his chair when I’m telling him off.

We didn’t get a huge amount of classic yacht watching done, but did manage plenty of rum drinking, eating out and generalised socialising. One day we went to Boom, a restaurant overlooking English Harbour which has an infinity pool and sun loungers for an afternoon of relaxation- not that we were feeling particularly stressed! It was so nice to swim in a pool instead of the sea, pure luxury these days. The weather was quite rainy, and on one particularly miserable afternoon mid-week we converged on Magic with sweets, popcorn and chocolate and watched a movie on their big flat-screen.

On Thursday night we went to the Red Hat party. Allow me to explain. During Classic Week, there are a number of opportunities to acquire tickets that will eventually convert into a coveted Antigua Sailing Week Red Hat. So, there’s a schedule and several bars in Falmouth Harbour participate. You have to buy a Mount Gay rum-based drink (they’re the sponsors) and each drink gives you one red ticket, and 3 tickets gives you a different ticket which is for the party on Thursday night and includes a free bar for an hour (only for rum!) and a free red hat. For some reason, Tina- who doesn’t even like wearing hats- became borderline obsessed with acquiring one of these red hats and as such our entire week revolved around being in a certain bar at a certain time, drinking rum, and collecting tickets. We ended up a few tickets short as we were trying to get some for Simon and Holly who sensibly stayed on board, so had to revert to some seriously questionable flirting techniques in order to get the party ticket. There was some cringwe-inducing flirting by Nick and Mark and Tina and I were in a state of sort of horrified hysteria at the spectacle. Eventually, the boys got fed up with our piss-taking and reverted to challenging us to do better. How predictable. I was like, “Leave it to me, boys,” and walked up to the booth, behind which a girl in her twenties stood, a big pile of tickets in front of her. I gave her my best ‘just between us girls’ smile and 30 seconds later I walked back, tickets in hand.

Nick later redeemed himself by getting 6 drinks tickets, which put a stop to my gloating and left us with several spare. All in all, mission accomplished!

Red hats!

Red hats!

The party turned out to be brilliant fun. We turned up early to secure a spot and ended up with one of the few outdoor tables and chairs. The bar was free for an hour only and only served rum, which was fine by us. I think you can imagine the carnage that followed. We also finally managed to get our red caps which is great because my Musto one flew off my head coming into Antigua in March. The band was awesome and there were stands selling kebabs and pork and coleslaw buns. All in all, it was a great evening.

May got into the spirit of things...

May got into the spirit of things…

The following day we decided to give our livers a much need break and headed back to Jolly Harbour. It was a bit like coming home after a holiday and we descended on Epicurian, the supermarket, like a couple of starved animals. Sunday night was yet another beach BBQ, but will be Tina and Mark’s last; they’re leaving on Friday to fly back to the UK. The fact that it’s currently snowing back home has not made this week easier for them. Yesterday was their last day on the water for some time as Simon and Holly kindly took us out on Tudor Rose to anchor for the day in Deep Bay. We wanted to snorkel on the shipwreck but the visibility was terrible- you could barely see a metre in front of you- and so it was a bit of a let down. However, it was sooo nice being out on someone else’s boat and not having to think about actually doing anything.

So we approach the end of April already- time has absolutely flown by. May will see us madly working on the boat to get her ready for summer storage and soon it will be our turn to say goodbye to the Caribbean and our home and fly back to London.


And So We Wait….

It’s June on Monday. Apparently. I have tried explaining this to my fingers, feet and most other parts of my body. However even ensconced in fleeces, puffer jackets, socks,boots,gloves, and hats they are freezing.

So it’s Saturday afternoon and I am sat in the cockpit looking out at Slate Grey Falmouth, with a sky that is about to spend the next three days doing something Biblical.

Anyway, whining aside. This morning we left Plymouth for Falmouth.

Plymouth was a nice enough place to visit. Oh to damn with faint praise! Typical of many european cities that had been carpet bombed during the war and rebuilt in the 1960’s. The historic part that remained was charming and we spent a couple of happy afternoons eating and drinking in the sun.
However, the weatherman was becoming more somber by the day as he discussed the impending weather. Storms tomorrow, through next week and so on. We only had our berth until this morning as it belonged to a charter boat and it was due to return today.
So at 5am we rose, made coffee and motored out through the breakwater into a Southwesterly chop.
Now sailing is awesome. Don’t get me wrong. I love it, I love the adventure, the freedom and being on or near water. However there are certain times,when I would rather be doing something else. This morning was definitely one of those days.
It was freezing, really cold. The wind was 20kts on the nose and the previously mentioned chop was bucking the boat about. I think that the proper term for chop is “swell period”. Either way, the swell period was 5 seconds, which meant that every 5 seconds a wave came along and made the boat buck. When its on the nose it is uncomfortable. When its freezing cold and on the nose it is miserable.
So by 6.30am, we are both huddled under the spray hood feeling spewy and sipping ginger tea. “Never mind” we reassured ourselves, “it’s only for 6 hours!”. Jaysus! Anyway,we bore away a bit to try and get some wind in the sails and calm the boats motion. So thats what we did, beat 40 miles in the cold.
I did however manage to break up the journey by running up and testing the water maker to make sure it was still working after nine months asleep.
Anyway, we arrived at Falmouth yacht haven, and moored up with a little help from some nice people on the pontoons.Our yacht has a fat arse, and we have to shoehorn her into most berths. The first we found wouldn’t fit at all, so we patiently waited while a speedboat vacated the only other free berth and motored and hauled Ruby into place. A couple of quick thankyou’s to our new friends and we slumped below in the warm, broke out the emergency tortellini , inhaled them and slept. I don’t ever remember falling asleep.

Falmouth is a beautiful city. The Yacht haven is strange though . It is quite small and poorly equipped, yet the yachts here are serious pieces of kit. As Falmouth is the jump point for travel South, many blue water cruisers wait here for a weather window. There are many foreign ensigns on the yachts from the USA and further afield.

We have at least a week here , while we wait for our crew. The long term weather forecast is ummming and ahhing about the weather forecast for our due jump date about the 7th of June. We may be stuck here for a while longer we wait for three days of settled weather in Biscay. However as my friend Neil says ” nothing you can do about the weather”. So its going to be fleeces and gloves for a while longer. Because even the cold, cold ,wet weather is preferable to getting a kicking crossing the Bay of Biscay.

Balls, cards, boxes and balls!

This week saw our schedule become tighter as a week that could have been spent preparing for a circumnavigation was spend instead eating various pork products in Germany.
As the blog is meant to reflect sailing,I won’t dwell too much on Leipzig.Suffice to say that it was warm and pretty.
We did however purchase a lovely and totally impractical addition to our yacht:balls.To be more precise 20 cotton balls with Christmas light in.I have seen these in every Thai market I have ever been to, and they cost next to nothing. However,add some fancy packaging,a good choice of neutral colours and the gay man that hides in all of us jumps out and spends 30 Euros on a set.

Cotton lamp balls. A practical addition to any yacht

Cotton lamp balls. A practical addition to any yacht

They are however lovely,and until we get caught in a rough sea where they will be smashed to bits,they’re staying.

Trevor in the marina was kind enough to open up on a Sunday and allow me to retrieve our deliveries. It looked like the dullest version of a Dickensian Christmas as I opened package after package to find ,lovely gifts like burn cream, first aid supplies ,oil and fuel filters.

Spares, emergency supplies and boxes

Spares, emergency supplies and boxe



We did however finally get our business cards delivered. Now for those of you who may have seen or read American psycho, I have a thing about business cards. I mean, I haven’t as yet come close to murdering anyone for having a superior card. However I wanted ours to look good. Very good. Unfortunately , I will be handing them out over the coming weeks whether you want them or not.

Spangly , spot varnished business cards

Spangly , spot varnished business cards

Now I have a week ahead to tackle another set of tasks on our list, which has ” sort out the forecabin” at the top.
Our forecabin has spent the last six months being filled with sails and all the stuff we have accumulated for our travels. It now looks like a bloody jumble sale.

The Devils work. Our forecabin

The Devils work. Our fore

As you can see, there is all manner of junk to store effectively, including a stand up paddle board, my surf board , which I am going to string up from the roof, and buckets of other things. I have a long week ahead!

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