Rum Sodomy and the Lash

sailing around the world on our yacht, Ruby Rose

Life Onboard Ruby Rose

What exactly do we do?

My recent posts haven’t really focussed on what life onboard has been like recently, so today I’ll give you a little snippet of what the hell Nick and I have been up to lately. Prepare to be fascinated! (Yeah, not really.)

Nick ironing

Here’s a clue: Nick ironing a small section of Sunbrella…

Life onboard Ruby Rose: a typical day.

07:00- The light streaming through the hatches wakes us up. Nick gets up first and I groggily reach for my tablet and, before even fully opening my eyes, I’ve checked my Facebook, emails, whatsapp and viber. Sad. Very, very sad. Then I scream, “Coffeeeeee!!” and Nick dutifully makes us a couple of Nespresso coffees to wake us up. Tragically, we ran out of capsules a week ago and have since been living on cafetierre coffee, which, frankly, hasn’t quite cut the mustard.

08:00- Oh, that’s better. I can function now. We eat breakfast and get to work. By work, I mean I do some writing and Nick does something that is actually constructive like making side panels for our bimini. I do have to admit, he comes in handy. Several days in a row saw us stretching out Sunbrella canvas on the pontoon, measuring and remeasuring, pinning, and then measuring again, before Nick would take the fabric inside and spend several happy hours swearing at the sewing machine. Most of the time it was pretty windy outside, and I’d end up contorting myself Twister style to try and keep all the corners down while Nick made the measurements.

Nick the seamstress. A rare moment where man and sewing machine are actually getting along.

Nick the seamstress. A rare moment where man and sewing machine are actually getting along.

Cutting fabric in our cabin.

Cutting fabric in our cabin. Far too windy on the pontoon for this!

After a bit of trial and error, he managed to complete two side panels with a large window in each that we can roll down to protect the cockpit whenever it starts raining (which is often). Unfortunately we can’t find the correct zips on the island and we don’t want to use velcro, so we have to wait until we get back to the UK to buy the zips. So the final installation will have to wait until next year. But they look even better than we expected and we can’t wait to have them up for next season!

10:00- Snack time! Yeah, this is an important part of our day, so I’m including it here. Deal with it.

12:00- Lunch break. Usually Holly and Simon will turn up around this point and the four of us chill in the cockpit for several hours. I like to think they enjoy our company, but we also have really fast wifi onboard and they have nada because they’re in the anchorage. It’s cool. We completely understand that internet access comes first.

14:00- Nick’s usually exhausted by this point and goes for his afternoon nap. This is when I get to spend some time by myself, which I usually utilise by doing a workout. I recently discovered Fitness Blender and I am totally obsessed and wondering why I didn’t know about them years ago!?

Sometimes Simon and Holly would leave Scrumpy with us for a few hours while they went into town or the supermarket. On one such occasion I got out my exercise mat, started doing jumping jacks or high knees or whatever, and poor Scrumpy just had no clue what was going on. He ran around the saloon in circles, ears back and tail wagging but not in a good way. He was clearly torn: what was this mad woman who was leaping around in a tiny space doing? Was it playtime? Was it time to hide? To try and calm him down I decided to just do low impact stuff, but as soon as I got into a plank he clearly decided it was playtime after all and wouldn’t get off me! Not the most effective workout I’ve ever done…

This was taken when Scrump was still chilling in the bedroom, oblivious

This was taken when Scrump was still chilling in the bedroom, oblivious

... and this was taken after he came out to investigate. It's hard to relax into a yoga pose with a dog licking the sweat off your neck...

… and this was taken after he came out to investigate. It’s hard to relax into a yoga pose with a dog licking the sweat off your neck…

15:00- To celebrate completing my workout, I bake a cake. Or muffins. Or a flapjack. I wish I were kidding. I am the queen of boat-friendly baking recipes that only require one bowl, the ingredients I usually have to hand, and a short cooking time (or our bread machine). I even found a no-bake recipe that was like an oat slice with a layer of chocolate, peanut butter and coconut all melted together. It was amazing. The recipe was from this awesome website although I made a few changes.

Oats+melted butter+honey with a layer of chocolate+peanut butter+coconut. Mmm.

Oats+melted butter+honey with a layer of chocolate+peanut butter+coconut. Mmm.

17:00- Oh, look, Simon and Holly are back again! Scrumpy is getting to know us now. The other day I was cutting Nick’s hair (yes, after 6 months of nagging, he finally let me loose with a pair of scissors) and I was interrupted by the distinctive sound of Scrumpy’s panting coming from somewhere in our cockpit. He just abandoned Holly who was chatting to someone else down the other end of the pontoon and jumped onboard! Good doggy!

We hang out in the cockpit drinking beer until the sun starts to go down, at which point we have exactly the same conversation every time:

Nick: “So, what are you two doing for dinner?”

Simon: “Oh, we’re not sure.”

Nick: “Well, how about I make us some pasta/chicken/ribs/risotto?”

Simon: “No, we couldn’t possibly.”

Nick: “I insist.”

Simon: “Well, only if you’re sure we’re not intruding…”

Nick: “Excellent! Another beer?”

Except that instead of sounding like a couple of polite English gentlemen, insert a particularly colourful swear word into every sentence at least twice. I thought Nick had, shall we say, an inventive and colourful vocabulary, but Simon and especially Holly give him a run for his money. I often feel quite sorry for any sensitive neighbours!

20:00- We’ve eaten dinner, usually prepared by Nick, and now it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: Game of Thrones! Simon and Holly are even more obsessive about this show than Nick and I have become, and when the latest episode was out Simon downloaded it, we got out the sweets and Simon’s chocolate cake, and sat back to enjoy the show.

Holly's turn to cook

Holly’s turn to cook

I love our decorative lights!

I love our decorative lights!

Another chilled evening on Ruby Rose

Another chilled evening on Ruby Rose

Sadly, Holly and Simon had to leave yesterday, but we have very similar sailing plans for next season so we’re hoping to cruise in company up to the USA. Of course, we’ve learned for ourselves that plans are drawn in the sand at low tide, but we really hope these ones work out! Holly and Simon are absolutely hysterical and we’ve fallen in love with Scrumpy dog, so we can’t wait to spend next season sailing with them.

And now we work…

So, with all our friends gone at last, Nick and I have run out of excuses. We’ve started working on our massive to-do list and cleaning out lockers, cupboards and shelves, throwing out-of-date food away and getting rid of items that are broken or we don’t use. I hauled about 20 books to the book exchange in the marina office the other day, a big sack of them slung over my back, and we are constantly filling up and throwing away garbage bags. Life onboard really isn’t that exciting at the moment!

Until next time!

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2 Comments

  1. awww – mates – cleaning and sorting is such a bore – we feel your pain
    on the up side you are moving forward towards your next adventure – and believe me Waitrose and Sainsburys are AMAZING when you have been away
    Miss you guys
    Great Blog

  2. Glad you can tolerate Hollys potty mouth they are great company , I assume cabin fever is responsible for a lot of the strange behaviours!

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